I was sexually abused when I was 9 by a trusted neighbour and experienced a freeze trauma response.
This means I could clearly remember what happened but was dissociated from my feelings.
Given I didn’t feel anything, I figured I was okay.
During my life I would sometimes overreact; cry uncontrollably or have out of proportion responses.
Times that I didn’t feel safe or felt betrayed were triggers.
I reconnected emotionally in my mid-40s, began a process of thawing out and made a police report that resulted in a conviction (5 years and sex offenders register for life).
Given that for a big chunk of my life I had no idea I was carrying trauma, I figured there must be others like me.
It motivated me to write a book (Speaking From The Scar), host live storytelling events, and run women’s speaking circles.
Gaining a conviction was extremely satisfying, but being witnessed in sharing my story has been deeply healing.
Our voices and our stories matter.