1 year into marriage I fell into depression.

After months of pulling myself in and out of a black hole and suicidal ideation, I finally broke my silence.

I had been sexually abused and then raped by 4 different people throughout my life, with the first starting at 3.5 years old.

My childhood photos haunt me and my son’s face reminds me of how vulnerable I was, that I too was just a baby.

The lack of psychological safety from sexual abuse never leaves you.

You always look over your shoulder and tense up around men.

I spent all my life searching for self worth in the eyes of others.

Looking for comfort in every place, but my own home, my body.

It’s been 4 years since my soul stepped into her truth, and while this is a pain I cannot heal from in this lifetime, I know I have the power to create space for the light in my darkness.

Each day comes with its challenges but I want other survivors to come to know you too can choose to live in your light and joy, you have the courage to be you.