From 3-6, two older children molested me at a sitter’s house. The fact that they were kids seemed to normalize my experience.
Then at 7, I was violated by a friend of my father’s.
Later, I was assaulted by a group of boys on campus. Thinking I was responsible for what I’d already endured, I believed it when the staff blamed me for the incident for ‘wearing a skirt and not defending myself more’. I was only 11.
As other kids referenced their abuse, I assumed it happened to everyone.
In my teens & 20s I sought out dynamics to support feeling unworthy, dirty & unloveable. To me, my only value was my body. I knew not to fight back as I saw what would happen if I tried.
I hated myself in a way that breaks my heart today. I now know I’d been conditioned to believe a lie. I’m not to blame nor deserved ANY of what happened.
As a mother, I’ve turned my pain into positive impactful action. Through my work, I ensure that all children know they are valued, and heard, making them as impermeable as possible to predators of ANY kind.
This must end. NOW.