When I was 6 my family took in a 19yo man who was part of their church youth group. He had an awful time with his family – I believe his father sexually and physically abused him. 

Unfortunately he then abused me over months and made me believe we were in a loving relationship. 

I only told after I saw him getting close with my 4yo sister. 

My dad immediately kicked him out, luckily my abuser plead guilty. 

But I wasn’t able to tell police everything that occurred, I felt I was being interrogated and I would go to jail if I told the whole truth.

I was raped again at 21 and 22. 

I became hyper sexual and also developed OCD and borderline personality disorder because of this. 

I struggle with feelings of shame & I often blame myself.

I feel sorry for him and I struggle to hate him.

But I know one thing for certain: the cycle ends with me.