The search
I knew I needed to speak with him. To let him know how devastating what he did to me was. And, if he is still doing it, then he must stop. I started my search online, trolling through social media platforms and websites.
I couldn’t find him, but I managed to find his wife’s Facebook profile. I could see him in her pictures. It was the first time for 25 years and his face had not changed. I messaged her explaining that he must contact me, otherwise I have no choice but to go to the police; she replied telling me to leave them alone, and blocked me.
REPORTING THE CRIME
I called the police and reported the crime. I gave a gruelling 3-hour statement, with every detail, from the taste, the touch, the smell of him. It was the first time I had spoken like this about the abuse. I was shaking, but knew it was absolutely necessary if I stood any chance of completing what I set out to do – ensure he does not continue to do this to more children.
CASE CLOSED
After 9 months of investigation, the case was closed due to a lack of evidence. I appealed the decision – the appeal was rejected. I was told that there’s only enough funding to take the strongest cases to court; mine didn’t make the cut.
I REFUSED TO ACCEPT
I was so angry that he denied it. If he was man enough to do this to me, then he should be man enough to face me. I felt more driven than ever before to find him now, so I began my search again.
THE MESSAGES
I couldn’t find him, but I managed to find his wife’s Facebook profile. I could see him in her pictures. It was the first time for 25 years and his face had not changed. I messaged her explaining that he must contact me, otherwise I have no choice but to go to the police; she replied telling me to leave them alone, and blocked me.
The second search
I repeated the search online, with no luck. So I went in person to the hospitals where I thought he could be working – still no luck. I wasn’t sure what to do next. So I went to the school that his wife works at, to tell her that I am not stopping until he meets me. She was shocked to see me. I handed her my details to her on a piece of paper, with a stern look to let her know that I am not stopping.
FACE TO FACE WITH MY ABUSER
With 2 months passed, and no contact from him. I felt like I had run out of options, except for one more thing. To follow his wife home from work so I had his address, and knock on his door to confront him. I never wanted it to come to this. But it was my only option. He answered when I knocked, I held the door open and told him everything that I wanted; whilst his wife was in the background calling the police.
THE ARREST
The police arrived, I was arrested and put in a cell overnight. My abuser and his wife decided to press charges against me for stalking, harassment, and assault. I pleaded not guilty to all 3 charges and I was released on bail.
THE TRIAL
I have now been to court 3 times to face these charges, and they cannot decide how to punish me. My solicitor says, it’s the harassment charge (approaching someone more than twice when they have told you not to, that is causing me the most trouble). The final trial is in April 2021, and I have my fingers crossed that the judge will understand my reasoning for my actions and will not punish me.
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