When I was 15 I was groomed, violated and abused by my 31 year old married boss. This went on for 18 months until my parents figured it out and confronted him. I was shattered because he manipulated me to believe that I loved him and he loved me.
After it was brought to light I was silenced. Silenced by him & his wife and sadly unintentionally silenced by my parents. They did the best they could with what they knew how, I know this.
I knew this abuse affected me severely but it wasn’t until I unconsciously sought out another relationship just as violating and severely abusive in my mid-twenties that I really understood the pain I had been enduring in silence for over a decade.
I spent almost all of my life, up until having my children dependent on substances and addicted to anything that distracted me from my deep rooted trauma whilst maintaining the look of a perfectly confident, and well adjusted professional.
I quite literally unconsciously recreated the same painful, traumatising and deeply abusive relationship with this other man later in life that escalated to such insidious sexual abuse and violation of my mind & body, it took me to the deepest low I had ever known. It forced me to wake up, address my past, heal my wounds and break free from the shackles this pain had been weighing on my heart & soul.
Having my 2 children continues to heal and grow me every day. I parent in a way that teaches consent, body autonomy and safety, I hold compassion in my heart and empathy for the little girl who didn’t understand what was happening to her at such an impressionable young age.
I believe wholeheartedly that this change comes from how we parent & it is our job to guide and raise a generation of humans that have body ownership & choice over who they kiss, hug and are held by and are never coerced or emotionally guilted into pleasing others with love & affection, for this teaches us that anyone can cross our boundaries and that in order to get love & approval we must abandon ourselves. Therefore, we live to accept the love we think we deserve.
I am proud to be breaking cycles of generational trauma whilst consciously living & constantly evolving.