I was born into a household riddled with domestic abuse, child abuse and honour-based abuse. 

I was molested at 5yrs old, by a teenage cousin who was staying with us. He was a troubled child who had been adopted into my uncle’s household. He actually spoke to me. He saw me. We were both hurting children, just trying to muddle our way through pain & confusion.

Afterwards, we just carried on as normal. I finally had a friend to talk to. Someone who didn’t shout, scream, bully, hit or humiliate me.

A 5yr old child has no concept of sex nor of their own bodies. They do not know what is happening.

A few years later, we were given sex education at school. The images of the little girl came back to me. I finally understood what had happened and what he had done.

I didn’t hate nor resent him for it. I saw a troubled teenager, being abused at home. Lost, alone, and in pain. If that person happens to see this, I hope he is ok and life has been kind to him.

“There is no greater burden than carrying an untold story inside of you.” 

At 10yrs old, I was beaten unconscious with a broomstick, for taking too long to make my uncle a cup of tea.

I regularly witnessed my siblings being beaten too.

At 15yrs, my mother screamed that I would bring shame upon the family because I was too attractive. I was made to go to Bangladesh, at 16yrs old, and married, then kept there for 3 months to ensure I could not terminate my pregnancy, upon returning to the UK.

I had my eldest son still only 16yrs old. Despite reporting child abuse to Social Services, no-one believed me.

I went on to suffer two abusive marriages and continued to be abused by family, throughout. I now support other victims, advocate for the rights of ethnic minority and SEND communities, and advise the local NHS on systematic racism. I am also studying BSc (Hons) Psychology and Criminology, as a lone parent, and hope to qualify as a Forensic Psychologist, one day.

Still I Rise.